Getting Into the Groove

Starting to get the hang of the parenting thing, although it's more exhausting than anyone could have ever told me.

Violet stays up until 12am to 2am with daddy, depending on her mood. Mommy gets to go to bed at 10 pm. Sometimes it's nice not to have a breast-fed only baby.

Mommy wakes up at 3 am and feeds for an hour or so, now with pumped milk (saved especially for the early am feeding), since that seems to knock her out the best. Then mommy wakes up for the 7-8 am feeding as well. If we're feeling up to it, we actually go somewhere else for the 7 am so daddy can sleep. If it's been a rough night, we do it in bed so she can go back into the bassinet right away and mommy can catch another hour of sleep or so.

on top of all of this, there's the extra pumping. We saw the doctor yesterday and he says she should be back to her birth weight by now, and she's still an ounce and a half shy. So no more straight breastfeeding for a while until we can find out exactly how much she eats that way. Starting this morning I was supposed to pump every 4 hours so we could keep track for a few days.

Low and behold, my milk finally started coming in, throwing the entire process off. Go figure.

We don't know if it means I'm finally recovering from the blood loss, or if it's because I quit taking my painkillers a few days ago. All I know is it's finally starting to happen, and I should be able to get at least 2 feedings a day off of it, instead of one every other day, like I had been doing before.

Best slightly belated Christmas present ever.

Speaking of Christmas, a glamor shot...


more new pics are up at Violet's flickr page.

This post is for Bruce

We LOVE tummy time...

At Home at Last

Violet came home Saturday evening after another long wait (the neonatologist got held up due to the storm, and she had to do an extra antibiotics dose because her IV came out of her hand again. With no other choice, they had to do the final IV in her head.). But we all slept through the night fairly well, and did so again last night, with only one 3-4 am feeding. She hates sleeping in her bassinet and has to be put in after she falls asleep somewhere else.

Luckily, she can fall asleep anywhere.



Expect more post-Christmas after our new family enjoys the holiday together at home.

Homeward Bound

/today is Violet's last night at the hospital. Smartie and I will ditch out a little earlier than normal to go home and get things ready, since for the last 12 days we've only been home to sleep (or pump, in my case). My job for the next couple of days is to wrap presents, since Smartie won't let me clean. Thank goodness we did all the Christmas shopping early this year.

Of course, before this all started, we had decided not to give monkeyface any presents since she'd had so much from the baby showers and was too young for this to really feel like a first Christmas anyway. But having her almost miss it changed our minds, so last night we ran to the store between feedings and got her two books, a monkey rattle, and this aquarium, which came highly recommended by her nurses.

I'm a little scared about bringing her home, simply because I'm still not equipped to handle her voracious appetite. At her feeding last night she breastfed for 32 minutes, the drank 5 ccs breast milk I'd pumped, then an entire2 oz of formula. I appear to have given birth to a linebacker.

Even scarier, almost all of it stayed down. We only had a tiny spit up...a good thing since she's now wearing her own clothes. It seems the level two, which mainly deals in preemies, really has no clothes big enough for her. To keep her monitors accessible, we are dressing her in 6-12 month onesies.

Nope, it doesn't look like she will ever wear her newborn outfits. Anyone have suggestions on where to donate a large passel of unused newborn outfits and newborn diapers meant for 8 lbers?

Cutest Little Tax Deduction

via Ka-blog, we just entered the poohead...

We will let you all know when voting starts so everyone can help us freep the polls...

Stocking Stuffer

How to tell a new mom is tired

I just sat down to pump and noticed my lap was wet.

I was pumping but forgot to screw in a container to catch the milk...

(written at 1:21 am)

Everything's Coming Up Violets

Still haven't gotten my milk in, but the fake stuff is coming in much more. Sadly, not enough to keep up with the monkeyface, who is now eating 50 ccs at a setting. For perspective, I did 4 pumpings last night and made 22 ccs and was pretty darn proud of myself. I have no idea how to catch up with her when I double daily, but she increases exponentially.

Last night we got to learn what they mean when they say "seedy poop." I still don't understand how that happens.

The fairy nursemothers brought in another set of presents yesterday -- a Christmas hat and giant stocking to lay across her. We'll try to get a picture later.

Tonight, I am going to sleep at the hospital so I can keep up with her feedings over night. Smartie has to work tomorrow, so I'm going to hang out here with the baby all day until he gets back and can pick me up.

The only downside? The night I picked to stay over is the day they moved my room from post partum to labor and delivery. So now I have more security doors to go through every time, and honestly, it's way too far for a woman who just had surgery to be expected to travel 10+ times a day. That, and I still get the willies over here after that 30 hours of labor.

Free Violet!

Violet will be home for Christmas.

Based on her early infection level, the lack of germ progression, etc, they recommend a ten day course of antibiotics, with a Saturday morning check out.


It's hard to believe she was ever sick at this point. We learned that at her 9 am feeding she took 48 ccs of formula in one setting. When I went to feed her at 11:30 she did 12 minutes total on the breast, then 17ccs of psuedo milk I had pumped for her during the night, and was in the process of getting "topped off" with a little formula when I came back to my room to try and see if I could pump more.

I have to admit to being both awed and a little miffed when I watched her daddy feed her my milk and the whole thing disappear in 30 seconds. All I could think was "That was 3 night sessions of 45 minutes each!"

Today Vi is being moved from her open layette to a real crib -- another sign she's nearly done. Monitors still stay on for the duration, but her IV is a little smaller and splintless now, which makes all of us happy. And it's a lot easier to laugh about everything now, especially when she gets all tangled when we try to hold her. "Are you sure this is our baby?" we asked one nurse. "Because we're pretty sure we ordered a wireless one. Can we try your mobile version?"

Out of the hospital, into the fire

I was released yesterday. My hemoglobin went back up to above 7, so with a pocket full of superpowered iron supplements I was told to go forth.

We haven't made it very far, of course. We've still been in the hospital most of the time, feeding and cuddling Violet. She was much more alert last night, and finally figured out how to breastfeed. We then went home for the night and I got up every few hours to pump, with much more result than I expected, especially since I'm not expected to get milk for at least another 2-3 days.

We've been here most of the day as well, and Violet is very obviously over the worse and ready to go. She's awake a lot, eating 20cc's of formula at a setting while still taking breast for at least 10 minutes at a time (she prefers one over the other, so often I let her have her favorite and pump the other for her to have via syringe with her formula from daddy). Also, she is disturbingly close to being able to roll over already. She's an amazingly strong little girl.

We got to change our first diapers yesterday. Unfortunately, we aren't very good at it and she ended up with Pooh on her head.



More pictures on Violet's flickr page...

3 new pics

I'll add the rest to the Flickr page later today.

Violet's Photos

The hospital stay that never ends...

Well, today is supposed to be my discharge date. However, I'm still waiting to find out if I'm getting discharged or not. It all depends on the results of this morning's hemoglobin test. I learned yesterday that my count has been going down instead of up. If it goes down again today, I am looking at a longer stay and worse case scenario -- a blood transfusion.

As for Violet, I guess the neo-natalologist who was in charge of her case the last few days is the rose colored glasses guy. Today's replacement I was told is a lot more conservative, and I shouldn't let that bring me too down. She thinks that based on her still rapid breathing, Violet has a pneumonia-like infection and has ordered some chest x-rays to be sure. She says that it wouldn't change her treatment at all, but she'd feel better about having her on anti-biotics for the full 14 day treatment versus 7. They do count from Wed when she was born, rather than Friday when they changed her meds, so it's not awful, but that would bring her home the 26th, which means she would miss Christmas.

There is one other neo-natologist who will check her out on Monday. I'm told he's conservative but not as much as this morning's and I might end up with a compromise of 10 days. That would be next Sat and fine with me. But having her healthy is more important, I know.

I'm also being given a list of things to look for as she could have late onset infection as well, although that's much less likely with her drug regime. If there is late onset, that would be a meningitis infection.

So even once we get her home, she isn't allowed to see anyone for at least 4 weeks until her strength and immunity is up. However, if you want to see her, some pictures will be coming up in the next post.

News

Violet has Group B Strep. I was tested for it I think 4 weeks before her due date, and I was negative. But that must have been a bad test. You can carry and not know, and according to the page two ways it can infect the infant, even without a vaginal birth, is:

Mother Develops a fever during labor
or
Has rupture of membranes 18 hours or more before delivery

Looks like I hit both.

But the good news is that they are changing the anti-biotics and she should be ready for release in 7 days, no worse for the wear.

More updates

Violet is a champ. I stopped in to see her this morning and she was cushioned in a little open swaddles, and she has a new best friend -- a little beenie baby aardvark one of the nurses brought her. It's good to be the only infant in the level two.

I'm now referred to as "the level two mom." IE: when the lactation consultant comes in to ask me how the feeding is going, and I say "We really can't do much right now, it raises her respiratory rate when she tried to suck too much and gets frustrated," the answer is always, "Oh, yeah, you're the level two mom."

Anyway, I checked her this morning, and her temp is still down, plus thanks to the cushions, which made her feel more secure without interfering with all of her monitors and IVs, she slept for 5 hours straight. Her heart rate has been consistently under 130, her oxygen levels are finally staying about 95% for most of the time, no need for the tube or a repeat of the tenting they had to do the night before. If we could just get her respiration rate down, she'd be doing perfectly.

Today, we let her sleep as much as she wants. If she gets fussy when she wakes up and wants to eat, they will call me to see if I can come, if not, they'll feed her right away so she can get back down. It may take a lot of work to get her back onto the breast down the road, but she needs the sleep more than she needs the breastmilk right now, especially since mine isn't expected to come in for quite a while thanks to numerous issues.

--break -- just talked to Violet's doctor.

Yesterday when he came in at 8 am her said she was negative because her first culture was negative and they hadn't done a second test yet. Her white blood cell count was fine at that point, and the anti-biotics were just a precaution.

When the second test was done, that was when they found it riddled with infection, and her white blood cell count was way off. But until they could identify the exact cause, they just kept her on the two anti-biotics that they started with, as they are general ones that can address a myriad of problems. As soon as they get the results back today they will tailor her medicine to best treat the exact nature of the infection. But since she was negative at first and then positive, whatever it turns out to be could have been life threatening, but at this point no longer will be. The neo-natologist was very quick to reassure me that this is hard, and she'll be here for at least an additional week to two weeks depending on the culture they grow, but that he is in no way worried about her recovery. In fact, the third test that they took actually came back negative, which means that the current protocol is keeping everything under control. So at this point, precautionary anti-biotics has probably saved her life twice. I need to find out which doctor ordered it and get a gift basket or something.

As for me -- well, post-pardum hormones are fun on their own. Add is a 30 hour labor, surgery, and a sick baby and you can see shy I have a bad case of the tearies right now. I was really hoping to get her out of here by Christmas, which may still be possible, although we're starting to look closer to New Years. They'll let us board in to be closer to Violet, and so I can nurse her more once I'm able to and she's able to, so that helps. But I'm still not sure when I'm being discharged, either. My hemoglobin's apparently still in the "critical" range, although the last nurse told me that isn't as bad as it sounds. I'm on iron pills in addition to my anti-biotics course, plus a high iron diet for now. I'm waiting for my new doctor to come in and let me know how much longer I'm going to be in IV anti-biotics and whether they want to do anything more aggressive to my blood, which will then tell me if I get to go home tomorrow. Not that I'd really be going home for long, I assume, but at least moved from nurses care to an independent.

More later, and new pictures when the Daddy gets here.

Good news, bad news and one more picture

Good News: Robin has stopped bleeding from the surgery and her temperature is back to normal. Violet's temperature is also normal now and her breathing has strengthened from yesterday.

Bad news: Robin's blood pressure is a little low and she's still a little woozy from blood loss, but both of those should be temporary. Violet's blood test came back with a preliminary positive for an infection from delivery. They've drawn a little more blood and a little spinal fluid and are retesting it to confirm that diagnosis and, if confirmed, to find out the exact nature of the infection. They're also keeping her on antibiotics just to be safe. But she seems to be healthy and has good color, so we're thinking it's nothing major.

She fusses a lot in the nursery when left alone, but calms down quickly when Robin or I hold her. It's reassuring to know that she recognizes us. Here's a picture of her from this morning when Robin was holding her. The batteries in my camera died after this one was taken, but I should have some more later this afternoon.

Violet Jane...Not quite ready for a close-up

This picture was taken only a few minutes after birth, so pardon any blood, bile or other random ooze.





This one is from a little later in the nursery.




We'll try for some glamor shots tomorrow after she's had a bath.

And that's probably it for tonight. Mommy definitely needs her sleep, and I do, too. And also maybe a taco. It's been a long day. But already so so worth it.

Pardon the Morphine

Announcing! Violet Jane Marty was born at 3:01 pm this afternoon. She has 10 fingers and 10 toes and is very good looking and her daddy is already wrapped around her tiny little fingers. They did a c-section when it started to look like the labor was putting both mother and daughter into distress and things look like they've turned out pretty well.

Robin is dictating the rest of this post to me. I haven't slept and Robin is drugged, so if there are any mistakes, I'm not making apologies:


It's all finally over and rumor has it that I have a beautiful daughter. I don't know. I haven't seen her yet other than 10 seconds in the OR.

After 30 hours of labor I feel we've learned a lot and now it's time to share.

1. Pitocin is evil. Epidurals are semi-evil. Pitocin appears to beat epidurals like rock beats scissors. Did you know a person can have 3 epidurals? The first one was fantastic, but the rest petered out after two hours which doesn't work when you've been in labor since 7:00 the morning before.

2. You can feel them pull the baby out, but it's still better than when they pull the placenta out. I felt them cut it. Luckily, then they gave me the laughing gas.

3. No one ever tells you that one of the sorest parts of your body is going to be your shoulders with my arms being held out like a crucified REW and massive shakes from the drugs I nearly pulled them out of the sockets...and it feels like I did.

4. "he he he hooooooooooooo" is not a substitute for pain killers.

5. They say it's all worth it once you get to see your baby. It must be true because I'm already forgetting all of the bad stuff.

I'll be in the hospital until Saturday and unfortunately because of a slight fever and merconium in her lungs Violet will have to remain in the nursery during that time. However, they're very insistent that Violet's care is mostly precautionary and she should be fine with a few IV fluids and as for me, I have a temperature, some morphine and a pressing need to go see my daughter, which Smartie and I will do shortly. Thanks everyone for your support during these very very long days. You can find Violet's picture in a moment. She weighed in at 8.6 lbs. and 21.3 inches and she seems to hate her hat. Will she have her daddy's curly hair? It remains to be seen.

Some progress...but enough?

They've continued the pitocin and the epidural. She's managed to catch some sleep in between contractions. We're at a little over 8 cm, but we've been there for a couple of hours. Contractions are intense, I think they called them "productive", so that's good, but for some reason the baby doesn't seem to be taking the hint. They've given us a deadline of two hours. If she hasn't moved out of transitional stage by then they'll do a c-section. We've been doing everything we can to avoid it, but they're afraid we may have hit a wall and further labor isn't going to help anybody.

Currently on oxygen as the baby's heart rate is a little high due to all the commotion in there. Nothing to worry about, we're told.

Robin just leaned over and said she's not sure what's gone wrong because she always thought she had good child bearing hips. I suspect it's genetics. I was 11 days late, and I've been a bit of ornery cuss since then. I didn't know "ornery" was a dominant trait, but now that I think about I suppose it makes sense.

Anyway, thanks for the kind comments, everybody. I'm reading them to Robin and I hope it's helping in some little way.

41w too many d

Admitted at 6:45 am yesterday. Still in the hospital. Yesterday's menu consisted of 3 Cytotec pills followed by five hours of Pitocin. She was still hovering around 1 cm so they decided to send us home around 11:00 last night. Then, while waiting for everything to return to normal, the water broke around 11:30. The nurse came in and told us that we were in it for real now. Not sure what we were in it for up until then, but we had more pressing concerns at that point.

Robin toughed it out for several hours of contractions with little progress until they finally gave her an epidural around 1:30 so that she could get some sleep.

Baby shows no signs of distress so they think labor is now progressing well, just with ungodly slowness.

They just boosted the epidural about fifteen minutes ago and she's getting some more rest. At about 5 cm now, so hopefully we're starting to move into the final stages.

41w2d

The Labor and Delivery ward is open, so we leave in 20. My guess is no progression, but hopefully the contractions have come down enough for a new gel, and we can start from there.

I curse whoever put 12/12 in the baby pool. I think you may be right.

More later.

Should have seen that coming

Got sent home from the hospital after an hour on the monitor. No gel allowed -- having too many contractions, so the doctor wouldn't approve. But still no progress.

Basically, I go in tomorrow morning, and if the cervix has progressed I get pitocin and we continue the induction. If it hasn't progressed and the contractions have slowed down, then I get another gel, I assume. And if it hasn't progressed and I'm still contracting, I guess they make me wait it out, which seems pretty stupid to me since, if we were at a point where we could just wait it out why am I being induced in the first place?

I was told to go home and take a bath and get some sleep. The bath just made me cranky and I couldn't feel any further from sleep.

We have to be up by 5:30 to get to the hospital in time for the appointment, assuming 12 other women don't go into labor overnight and take up all of the birthing rooms.

41 weeks 1 day

Home from our first batch of gelling. It took three hours, partially because the Buddha was being a pain and wouldn't do the heartbeat increases like she was supposed to before we got started. Once we started talking about her she seemed to wake up and was fine from there on out, but that added an extra hour to things.

Kind of ironic, but it's obvious I needed the induction, as it turns out her head was not fully engaged (the doctor told me she could push it right out of the pelvis, so she's still floaty), and although I was a little soft, I wasn't dilated at all -- no good for someone over a week overdue. Yet, they still had to call my own doctor for permission to continue, because the hospital has a policy on not doing inductions on someone who is having contractions every 5 minutes or less.

Yup -- somehow not only is my body completely unprepared on its own to give birth, it's also somehow simultaneously trying desperately to do so. As always, though, the contractions were pretty much painless and non-productive.

The contractions got a bit more productive after the gel, but still not expecting much change before the 6 pm appointment. Hopefully that one will make something happen.

For now, a nap.

41 weeks

This is the last time we get an update from Babycenter. Webmd already cut us off, as did the hospital newsletters.

Smartie is cleaning the house. I'm napping on and off. That's about all I'm good for right now.

I didn't think it was possible, but I think the baby's head moved down lower. There's definitely more pressure than there was the day before. Of course, she is still getting bigger, so maybe that's what I'm feeling.

My father called to tell me he finished his Christmas card, and instead of leaving a blank has decided to put in her date born (Dec. 11th, which should be correct), and her weight. He's picked 8lbs, 4oz. If he nails it, we're going to put him on the carnival circuit.

Tomorrow we start the process, with the first gel happening at 11 am. We'll see if the gelling process makes me go on my own, or if we have to do the full waterbreaking and drug on Tuesday morning like we have scheduled. Either way, looks like we'll be in the hospital Tuesday.

40w6d

Saw "The Golden Compass" yesterday. If you have read the book and plan on seeing it, be advised that the movie cuts off early, so you don't sit there waiting for the rest of the movie.

Other than that, nothing new. Pretty sure yet again that today is not the day. At least we only have three days left now.

40w5d

This is what overdue looks like...


Thought we were getting somewhere last night, but we never quite made it to one every 5 minutes, only seven. Got bored and went to sleep assuming that if I can go to sleep, it's probably not labor.

It wasn't.

Today, we go buy some new books since we've read through our reserves this week. Also going to see "The Golden Compass," so there is some advantage to being late -- I didn't think I'd make it to the theater to see it originally.

I'm craving pizza badly, but I promised myself no more until Buddha comes out, as a little reward for myself. But I may break down tonight, anyway. I only have a few more days where I can claim I need things just because I want them. I should take full advantage.

40w4d

Not much to report. No action at all today, despite a favorable horoscope for the aries. I'm doing laundry again out of boredom. Trying to finish a doorjam for the front door to block some of the cold air, since currently we're using a scarf.

Drinking Liberally at Groveland in St. Paul tonight. If I have any energy we might try to go for a bit, but I'm not feeling too optimistic right now.

40w3d

Today's post is late due to our first run to the hospital. I assumed I was going into the Dr today for another routine checkup. Instead, since I was overdue now, I had to do a non-stress test as well. I didn't fail, but the results were "non-conclusive" so I was sent to Labor and Delivery at my hospital. The Buddha was sitting at a heartrate of 130, which was fine, but didn't have any accelerations, which she should have had when she moved or when I had a contraction. Hence, the trip to the land of birth.

Once we got there, I was asked when I last eaten, something they didn't bother to ask about at the dr. See, since our appointment was early, and they usually take about 20 minutes, Smartie and I were planning on getting some breakfast and doing some shopping after the appointment. So I hadn't had anything since last night.

Two apple juices and a package of graham crackers later, and the Buddha was ready to rock. We sat on the monitor for about an hour, and she responded beautifully, ups and downs and more kicks and squirms. We also got to track contractions for an hour, and I am having them pretty frequently, to the point where the nurse said I may be in early labor and not need the induction, hopefully.

Ah, the induction. I had no idea it was a two day process. Monday I have an appointment to be gelled at 11, and a second at 3. Tuesday morning at 7 am I go in to see if I'm open enough and they'll start the picotin and break my water. So we should have a baby sometime Tuesday, at the latest.

And late it is -- by that point she will be 9 days overdue.

Apologies to Norwegianity Readers

Sorry I got you excited.

40w2d

Sorry I'm late (ha!)

Today, since we have nothing else to do, we decorated the house for Christmas. Now it's snowing. Heavy. Luckily, there's no reason to send Smartie out to shovel, since it's obvious this baby will never come. Ever.

We managed to get all of our Christmas shopping done yesterday for both of our families. It took about 3 hours. It's good to have everything out of the way now.

We have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning. I've already resigned myself to hearing that no progress has been made, and that we'll need to schedule an induction. I'm going to try and push for an induction early next week versus towards the end, since I'm a little worried that I might be further along than we thought, and I don't want to risk any sort of dangers that come from going over 42.

I'm also worried that the baby will come out huge. The longer we wait, the more she's going to weigh. Which will make the labor that much more difficult.

Luckily, by being this late, I'm almost looking forward to labor more than I am terrified of it. Almost.

40w1d

Webmd has gone traitor on me.

Now, instead of little daily helpful hints about my pregnancy, it's giving me advice about coping with my newborn and all the changes.

Guess what -- I don't have a newborn. If I had a newborn, I wouldn't be checking my calendar anymore -- I'd be taking care of my newborn. The only people still checking are those of us hanging around waiting for a late baby. Play to your audience, you jerks!

Anyway, nothing still. I feel a little nauseous today, but I think that's a combo of nerves and not being able to sleep last night. I had a cup of gingerbread coffee yesterday morning, because it's really late in pregnancy, low birth weight is likely not an issue by now, and darn it, I miss coffee. Don't know why, but it seemed to hit the Buddha's system at about 12:30 AM, and she became one crazy kicky machine. She was still pretty active at 7:30 this morning, when I gave up and got up.

No work for Smartie or me today, so I think we'll hit the stores and do our Christmas shopping and get that out of the way. If I can tear myself away from the window, that is. I'm getting some sort of evil enjoyment out of a game of chicken one of the neighbors is playing with the city, guessing how long they can leave the car on the even street before they get towed.

Why yes, Spotty, I am pretty cranky...

Vikings: 42 Lions: 10

Just one question, Jon Kitna.

Where's your god now?

That is all.

Oh, and, still no baby.

40 weeks

nothing

sigh

guess she's just going to take her time.

I wouldn't mind so much, really, except for all of the people who keep calling. Yes, I'm frustrated that I'm still waiting, the last thing I want to do is answer 13 people's calls about whether I had a baby or not. If I said you'd get a call, you will. If you haven't gotten a call, that's because there's nothing happening. I wouldn't just forget I had the baby, or that I said someone would call you. And if I was in the process of having her, I wouldn't be answering the damn phone anyway, so all you are doing is making me confirm that nothing has happened, which you already know because I didn't call already.

Glad to have that off the chest.

Going to make tea and lay with my feet up, like the baby web tells me to.

39w6d

Ah, the last day...

Or maybe not

Snow's falling, I've had two cups of raspberry tea, and I just spent 40 minutes on the elliptical for the first time in about 6 months.

Don't think it's going to make a difference.

Just in case, though, Smartie is outside right now shoveling out our first layer. His mission for the day is to keep on top of the snow, since he's convinced the moment we have more than 3 inches on the driveway is the moment I pop.

Personally, I don't see it happening today. So I give up for now. I'm going to finish the laundry and curl up and watch "Heroes" and just let it snow.

Maybe tomorrow.